Nothing to Give?

By Krystal Harrison

I didn’t think I had much to offer my Chi Alpha community at Central Michigan University. As a new believer, I felt very unskilled. I wasn’t musically talented like Kirk. Or full of wisdom like Jessica. Or the life of the party like Amy. I certainly wasn’t a witnessing guru like Chris. As a shy introvert, I could barely manage a normal conversation with people I knew, let alone engage in cold-contact evangelism with strangers. I felt quite inadequate, but still I wanted to find a niche, a way to contribute. The only thing I could think of was to shut myself in my room and pray over the names on the XA phone list. Everything else seemed way beyond my ability.

By my senior year, I had progressed from closet -prayer to small group co-leader and faithful attendee of all XA gatherings. I had even been on a spring break mission trip. Much of my salvation story was woven by those Chi Alpha years and the friendships I found there. Edging nearer to graduation, I desired to give something back.

I started by giving a summer to the XA missions office. Then, the next year at grad school, I fell into an opportunity to become a campus ministry aide, assisting my former campus pastor with administrative tasks. I think I grew more during this time than through all my years as a student in Chi Alpha. I learned much and enjoyed the chance to give something back. As I finished up my master’s degree, another opportunity came along: working overseas with Students for Christ in Europe. I couldn’t believe it. No matter my perceived shortcomings, it seemed that God might have a place for me in missions.

I originally signed up for two years. Five years later, I’m still hanging in there. I think I’ve come a long way. I came from a cowgrazing town (population 600) in Michigan’s woodsy Upper Peninsula, to chaotic and dusty Athens, Greece (population 6 million). From a childhood of being surrounded by family, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles, to living 4,000 miles from my nearest kin. However, some things haven’t changed as much as others. I’m still terrible at public speaking. I haven’t mastered the guitar or been miraculously healed of singing off-key. I’m not great at theological debates and I anxiously avoid spotlights and microphones.

What I’ve learned is that despite my perceived inadequacies, God finds me quite adequate. I’ve realized that it isn’t about personality type, giftings, skill set or career. Any combination of these can be used for God’s glory. What God is waiting for are those who are teachable, willing and faithful, to say, “I’m available.”

If you’re willing to give a year, God has a place for you. At times it will be hard, boring and frustrating, probably with a few moments of insanity. You may feel as if your weaknesses have been magnified, but you’ll find strengths you didn’t know you had. You will see the inglorious human side of missions. And then you’ll discover the deepness of Grace. You may wrestle with God and miss your family, your dog, American sports and peanut butter. But you’ll finish richer for it all.

You’ll never know how much you have to give until you step out and give your “nothing” to God. Are you teachable, willing and faithful? Try giving a year. It goes by fast. And you won’t be the same.